She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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