we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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