Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize