I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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