OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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