After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
