Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
