I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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