Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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