This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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