Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
