ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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