Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
COCAINE IS GR8
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
