She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
