Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
