tell your sister to shave her snatch
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize