I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You're like the curious george of whores
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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