Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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