Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
