Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
