1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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