Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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