Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize