All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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