Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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