...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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