Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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