hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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