Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
