Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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