WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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