he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
