id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why did my mother make you get naked?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
