Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
