i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can I color on your dick again?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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