i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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