"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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