I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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