I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize