We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
