just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
