yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
