like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
