Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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