Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
