Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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