The best revenge is premature balding
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
