They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
