I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize