And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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