508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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