Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
