Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't turn off my feet"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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