my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
