She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize