if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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