He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
