let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Green mimosas i think yes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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