i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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