Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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