I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
