lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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