He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
