D3 body, D1 cock
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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