I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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