I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize