Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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