two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
