you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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