we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
