Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
