Screwed.edu
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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